Before I begin this entry, I want to say two things: First, please forgive any grammatical errors for this post, as I procrastinated and have just finished this entry a few hours before posting, and won’t be able to go over it until I finish my meditation retreat! Secondly, I just wanted to thank everyone who've been following my journey here in Asia, reading over each entry, sharing it with their loved ones, and for those who have continuously been praying for me. I sincerely appreciate it — thank YOU!
When I first started my pilgrimage in September 2019, I didn’t know much about hostels; actually, I didn’t even know what a hostel was to be truthful. So, I initially stayed at cheap hotels until I came across a few individuals who told me about hostels and how it is a great way to save money and to meet other amazing travelers who are also on their pilgrimage.
By the third month into my journey, I was mostly staying in different hostels around India, and resorting to hotels when there was no local hostel. For those, who like myself, are not familiar with hostels, it is similar to college housing: you share a room with anywhere between 4 to maybe 12 people, with bump beds and a shared bathroom, while the kitchen and dining room are usually outside the room. The more people in the room, the lower the price, but also, the more patience you have to have since you are sharing your space with many other folks.
Now, to move on, I initially thought I was going to Tamil Nadu (as I stated in my last post), but my plans changed. After spending some time in Goa, which is a perfect place for Westerners to go on vacation, I ended up in Kerala, a state filled with lakes, trees, and mountains. Given I am doing my Vipassana Meditation in Kerala, from March 1st - 12th, where I will be in total silence for the entire duration, I decided it would make sense for me to stay in the state of Kerala and work on deepening my yoga and meditation practices.
After using the app booking.com, I found The Lost Hostel, checked the mostly good reviews, and then ventured to my new home where I would stay for the next two weeks. After checking in, I found my immediate surroundings to be picture-perfect: the trees provided the much-needed shade from the sun’s rays, there was a slight breeze providing fresh air to my nostrils, there was the most beautiful artwork on the walls which was created by my fellow travelers, and everywhere I looked, there was someone from a different corner of the world with a genuinely welcoming smile.
Since I arrived in the evening, I was able to catch the most beautiful sunset I have ever witnessed. As I sat on the beach watching the departing sun, there was this mixture of lavender, light orange, and a tad of dark blue, all mixed, granting all viewers the beauty of God’s artwork. I sat in gratitude as I connected to my breath and focused on my breathing to prevent my mind from wandering away, thus preventing me from entirely enjoying the present moment.
By the time I arrived back at The Lost Hostel around 8:00 p.m., there was this smell of a home-cooked meal permeating the entire hostel. I followed the pleasing scent and found a young lady from Columbia and another gentleman from the UK in the kitchen while some joyful Spanish music played. I did a little two-step as I entered, asked if there was anything I could do, and then snapped this photo of us before thinking to myself how grateful I am to be here in Kerala:
As dinner was being finished, all of the travelers gathered around a few tables outside, and everyone began exchanging names, where they’re from, how long they have been in India, and where they’re going next. As I sat and engaged in a few conversations, I found myself being, once again, thankful for the power of the moment. It is too often we are robbed of the experience of being able to enjoy the present since our minds are overwhelmed with thoughts and regrets of the past and anxiety and worry over the future. I took a deep breath to reconnect myself to this particular moment and watched as minds from all over the world exchanged ideas, beliefs, and perspectives, in a way where no one was offended, but rather, everyone was accepted and respected as if we were all family. It was then I thought to myself: “The present is indeed a present.”
Around 2:00 a.m., as the laugher began to subside, the yawns slowly kicked in, and the stars illuminated the sky, I heard someone playing the guitar and another slightly singing. I followed the sound of the music until I found myself amongst a few other travelers, all enjoying the combination of the guitar player and his companion, the singer from Poland. As the instrumental played, I zoned in and began rapping to the beat some verses I previously wrote about a heartbreak I experienced within the past year. Before I knew it, my voice aligned perfectly with the guitar player, and the young lady from Poland did her part by adding the ad-libs, and we continued on until the night gave way.
The next morning after completing yoga and some meditation, I met up with the guitar player whose name is Chris (he’s from the UK) and his female friend named Janet, who was doing the ad-libs the night before to continue our masterpiece named Attachment. As I previously mentioned, I wrote a song called Attachment because I realized when the young lady and I went our separate ways, I noticed how attached I was to her to the point I craved her as a child craves chocolate. They do say the best creativity comes from pain, so I let my inner pain go through my lyrics, which you will hear soon, and Chris and Janet created the instrumental, and we practiced the recording several times. (I know what you’re thinking, a rapping, dancing yogi who wants to be the POTUS one day. How is this possible?)
In any case, as the days went by, travelers came, and others left. One minute you would see someone, and the next breath, they would be saying “safe travels.” I have really learned and still am learning how to appreciate everyone I have met, to experience all of life with them, and then to let go gracefully when the time comes. Not to get too deep into this belief, but it is one of Buddhism: to be non-attached to anything nor anyone but to appreciate all experiences, people, and also your own life, and then let go of it all when the breath comes, without craving for anything — not even for more life. It is indeed a very challenging concept to not only to understand but to practice too.
A few days before I left Varkala Beach (where The Lost Hostel is located), I met a young man from Norway by the name of Andreas, who I made an instant connection to. Resembling Aqua man in height and external looks, Andreas daily reminded me of the proverb: “As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another.” We would get up early in the morning, around 6:00 a.m., and practice meditation together, and then he would lead a yoga class, and I would follow after, prepping us both to teach the masses one day. I was extremely grateful to see Andreas too struggled with his own inner challenges as I have grappled with my own addictions, thus granting us both the ability to lean on one another for support and encouragement when our flesh would become weak. It was then I was reminded no one man could do it alone, nor should he try to do anything alone, especially breaking out of crippling habits, but rather, he should lean on a brother, to help lift him out of the abyss of his weakness.
As the date for my Vipassana Meditation drew near, it was time for me to retreat into further solitude, so I decided I would leave Varkala beach and go to The Lost Hostel in Munnar, where the quietness of the mountains and forest would grant me the alone time I needed. After traveling for a few hours by bus, I arrived in Munnar where the hills were in the distance, the breeze was much more refreshing perhaps because of the multitude of trees, and there was less tourist than my previous location by the beach.
To jump right into it, Munnar is where I decided to put behind me the ways of a child and walk in the path of manhood with confidence, grace, and strength, and this was mainly possible because of the countless of other young men I met who empowered me to not only embrace the man in me and to depart from the ways of a child, but to also keep an open mind. For instance, Will, who is from the UK and instantly embraced me as a brother, reminded me it doesn’t matter what one’s ethnic background is since one can be family with whomever. As he was describing his adopted brothers from Kenya (if I remember correctly), he spoke of them not as if they were once strangers to him but as if they too departed from the same womb as himself, reminding us all love has no boundaries.
By my third day in Munnar, Will had invited me and a few other of the fellas to climb the second-highest mountain in Kerala (which took nearly two hours), and this was by far one of the best experiences I ever had. To tackle such a great challenge not alone but with other men gave my spirit and, therefore, my body, strength to continue when fatigue kicked in. As I was making my way to the top, I continuously reminded myself, “one breath and one step at a time.” No matter how great a feat is, such as climbing this particular mountain or say, my ten-day silent meditation, if you cannot put one foot in front of the other, or follow each breath with another, it would be impossible to climb a mountain or to complete 100 hours of meditation throughout ten-days. This, my friend, is a secret key to life: one step and one breath at a time.
While it was sweet to climb the mountain with the team, it was even more delightful to make it to the top with my boys and share a victory high-five. Being on top of Mount Meesapulimala felt as if we were on top of the world! Will and I meditated for a few minutes on the top, taking deep breaths and connecting with the moment. I shall never forget that day with the guys as I was too reminded we are all still growing, all searching for truth, and all creating ourselves.
Another brother, named Jake, who is also from the UK, made me realize I would prefer to converse with those who share different views than myself. Jake, more or less, does not necessarily believe in the notion of white privilege. We debated for about 25 minutes on the topic, and I listened extensively to his belief, which was, in short, we should move forward and not necessarily look behind and continue living in the past. While I agreed we all have to move forward and no longer live in the past, we cannot know where we are going if we don’t know where we have come from, nor would we make much progress since history unlearned is history repeated. However, what mattered to me most was by conversation’s end, we both gave each other a passionate hug, as two brothers would embrace one another. It was the perfect lesson: it doesn’t matter what you debate about nor how intense it becomes, what is most important is at the end, everyone can depart from one another with respect and acceptance.
It was then when my mountain friends left and continued with their journey, that I met Andy Fo, who is from the UK, then an Australian named Jim-O, and then Clemo, who is a French native. We came to call ourselves the Munnar Boys: All from a different corner of the world, but all here in Munnar at the right time. I bounded with Andy Fo on the dance floor and connected with Jim-O while walking on a hike. While walking side-by-side, I disclosed to Jim-O my struggles with weed and pornography (both of which I plan to talk extensively about in my next blog post titled Vipassana Meditation). He listened with an open heart, absent of judgment, and then opened up about his struggles with pornography in his younger years, therefore deepening our connection, and reminding me I am not going through anything foreign to man. Still, something many people either struggle with or have grappled with at some point in their lives.
Clemo and I bounded after him, and Andy Fo was laughing so hard at the way I whistle: I squeeze my bottom lip, pinch the skin and suck the air in. They got a crack out of it when I whistled to our waiter to get his attention (supposedly it’s rude in their countries), and the way my face would look most likely intensified their laugher. In any case, on our hike together, which was about an hour, I did a guided meditation with all three boys for about 20 minutes. I guided them on focusing on the sensation from the sole of their feet up to the crown of their heads, followed by focusing on our breathing, and then connecting with each sense and the way they feel individually. They appreciated my meditation class and gave me great feedback. They complimented my voice and how each felt comfortable just listening to me guide them through our meditation session.
Once Clemo departed and went up north, I was able to bound deeper with Jim O and Andy Fo. I did another meditation session with them two deep into the forest, but before we started the 30-minute meditation, we all ate a hot pepper to make the meditation more intense. We called it the Red Pepper Meditation. This round was a personal meditation, so we all were still and quiet. Once we finished, we exchanged thoughts on how the moment of reflection was for each. They echoed my comments on how the burning sensation of the peppers granted us the ability to focus extensively on the breath since we were in pain. We were all glad no one gave in since we were all suffering together, and this made the suffering more bearable, for no one wants to suffer alone, nor does anyone suffer alone.
The next day we all took a significant leap and completed an hour of meditation right after consuming two red peppers! Between the burning sensation in our mouths, which eventually subsided, the heat from the sun, and our bodies accepting the pain, we all at one point wanted to give in but didn’t since we knew our brothers were also suffering. Once we finished, just as when the other guys and I climbed the mountain, there was first a gasp for air and then smiles and hugs! We then debriefed, and once again, they too shared my sentiments on the pain we all endured first in our mouths and also in our body, whether in our knees, hips, or spine. The pain taught us not only to accept but to accept with gratitude since we are all suffering together, and this brings forth compassion. Further, the pain taught me not to run from it as I would run towards pleasure, but to just notice it and then after accepting the discomfort, slowly, it subsides since all of life is transitory, and nothing stays the same. I can honestly say it was one of the proudest moments in my life, for I saw a spectacle of what I am capable of when I put my mind to anything.
I was and am still so grateful for the Munnar boys because they showed me I could do anything I put my mind to and, since we are all the same age, the process to becoming a man is a beautiful one when shared with others. Our time also taught me we ought to embrace pain just as willingly as we do pleasure since both come and go in our lives! As Iron sharpens Iron, so does one man sharpen another, those guys have sharpened my blade so much so, I cried watching them get on the bus to leave. I desperately wanted to go with them, but my path is leading me to Vipassana and theirs to another location. I cried, too, because I was letting go but then smiled because I knew not forever, for they shall forever be the pillars in my meditations holding me up when I get weak, just as they were when we completed an hour, keeping me secure and keeping me going!
After Andy Fo and Jim-O departed, I then met a young man from Tamu Nadu (east of Kerala), who is close to my age, and who came up to me one afternoon as I was preparing to read Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman on the roof and asked about my practice with meditation. He opened up about the anxiety he was having from a debt he owes and how he has turned to drinking for his comfort. I wasn’t planning to meditate, but since he had never meditated before, and I saw the opportunity to deepen my meditation teaching, I decided I would do a guided mediation with him. So, I took the brother to where I meditated in the forest, and I led him on a guided meditation for 20 mins. After asking him how he felt, he mentioned how relaxed his entire being was and left me with these parting words: “Your voice, Demetrius, is like a dominating voice which means when my mind is distracted and is overwhelmed with negative thoughts, your voice dominates and brings me back to a peaceful state, where I am completely in your hands, and there are no distractions.”
Then there was Big-Mike from Isreal, who is such a funny guy and has an accent like Luigi from Mario. Our bond deepened as we were at the lake and spoke over the tensions between Israel and Palestine, and he informed me of some of the history between the two countries. As we were bonding at the lake, I asked him if he has ever meditated, and he said he wanted to get into it, but because he didn’t know how to start, he hasn’t done much. So, seeing this was another opportunity to practice my guided meditations, I took him on a 23-minute guided meditation under the rays of the evening sun. I was proud of him for completely, for the first time, over 20-minutes, and he too shared his gratitude for our meditation session: "Keep teaching brother, you will change the world."
My last few days in Munnar, once all my friends left, I spent the remainder of the time alone, and briefly saying hello to other travelers, as I wanted to slow down my talking and connecting with people since I will not be doing any connecting or talking unless it is in my head. By the time you read this, I will be into my Vipassana Mediation, where the next ten days, I will be meditating for 10 hours each day without any connection to the world or anyone other than myself. For my entire life, I have sought comfort in external things such as marijuana and pornography (more on these two my next post) and in people, but this stops now as I will only seek comfort within my soul. I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t nervous and somewhat afraid of what I may unearth through my silent connection with my subconscious mind, but since I am preparing myself to bring yoga and meditation to the world one day, I have to be transformed by both disciplines, for I can only teach both to the degree I understand and have been changed by them.
So, I end this post with thanking all of my fellow travelers who have encouraged me to do Vipassana Meditation and who have inspired me to be brave in the face of considerable uncertainty. I also want to thank all my family, friends, and supporters back home for keeping me in their prayers, especially at this moment in my journey. Lord knows I will need your prayers and positive thoughts. I don’t know what lies ahead as I begin my ten-day silent retreat, but I do know it is time for this caterpillar to become a butterfly! So help me, GOD!
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Thanks!
With love,
Demetrius Napolitano
To be continued...
